As Manipulative As I
by Fragile-Strength
Summary: Because without him, where would I be?


**Author's Note://So. This is my first ever Juliet fic, which is weird, because I'm really interested in her character, but not so weird once you actually read this fic, because, jeez, I have issues getting inside her head...**

Coincidentally, or perhaps not so, this is my first fic I've written from first person which is very, very unusual of me. I was like, halfway through it before I even realized I was writing in first person, and by that point too far in to have any urge to go back and change it... So. This is really horrid, I know, and it'll probably come down in a few days, but I thought I'd try and get a few suggestions first to see if I could improve my Juliet at all.

This is set post Season 3 finale, and has spoilers up until then. It's set on the walk Jack's group will probably take back to camp, and as Juliet walks along, she's musing about how well her plan is going, about Jack himself, and what she thinks of him.

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It would be pointless for me alone to even attempt to convince the rest of Jack's make-shift family to trust me. They've all been betrayed, and they have all learned from it. They know better than to get too close to someone who's screwed them over before, even if they have 'changed'. Change is a worthless word to them. A word the likes of Jack himself would use to best suit him, and then walk all over without a second thought.

The majority of the other survivors have even actually learned from personal experience that once you screw up someone else's life, you never really become an upstanding member of any community again. Ever. Which is why I so desperately praise whichever God sent me Jack, the man who has all of his priorities completely backwards, and seems to consistently put his trust in precisely the wrong people. Because without him, where would I be? Not on a hike back to his camp, that's, at the bare minimum, for sure.

Jack is different. I'd say he wasn't smart enough to know to keep away from me, too stupid to recognize the fact that I've done wrong and shouldn't be trusted, save the way he treats the other survivors. He doesn't put his trust so easily in everyone, I've quickly learned. I haven't missed the way he condescends to all the other survivors, telling them what he thinks is the right decision and then immediately turning away and moving onto the next problem that needs solving, as though expecting them to take his decision without question. Because after all, he _is _the smarter one. He _is _the leader, the one they elected two months ago when they so desperately needed a doctor and someone to tell them the right way to go. He's completely unaware of the fact that the public at large seems to be desperately trying to go back on their decision - they hadn't realized that once they elected someone, they were in office until said person died. In this aspect, he reminds me of Ben, and to a degree it horrifies me that I'm working so hard to get away from Ben, and to do so, I have to be BFFs with a clone until my job is done. Just like Ben, it seems that Jack loves to go and prove all the people he insists he cares for utterly and completely stupid. It's ridiculous to think Jack isn't the best candidate for island dictator, anyway, according to him. And that's precisely what he is - a dictator. What he says goes, and that's very well that, then, isn't it?

Kate killed somebody - her father, actually, but Jack doesn't know that. But he does know that she killed somebody, and I can see from the way he moves and the defeat in her eyes when she's near him that he never has let her forget that, even for an instant. Jack's not quite sure what Sawyer's done; at least as far as I know, but Jack doesn't miss an opportunity to try and make him feel horrible for whatever it was he's done, let him know that he's not good enough to breathe the air that he does, take up the space and rations that he must to live.

But he knows exactly what I've done - what all of _my _make-shift family and friends have done. He was the one who resuscitated Charlie - it's not as though he didn't know it was we who hung him from that tree. He searched for Claire after we kidnapped her. If all has gone according to plan, he's just helped mastermind a plan to blow up anyone that comes to follow up on my double-sided information.

And yet, he trusts me. He's put his reputation, his little place in the community, and very possibly his life in jeopardy to make sure that every single one of them trusts me. I don't doubt that, eventually, they will. Those that won't will become the minority and cast aside or very simply silent. I'm untouchable, now, because the great hero-doctor Jack Shepherd trust me. And that is, very simply, that.

But still, I have to wonder. How can he make a decision like that so easily? All one has to do is feed him grilled cheese with toothpicks, flirt a little bit, and dye her hair blonde to get on his good side? He trusted Ana-Lucia, too, when everyone else was shunning her, even after she shot and killed Shannon with no really viable excuse. Does he actually fancy himself God, put here on Earth to balance out the ways of humans - to support those that are otherwise being cast aside, to be a burden to those that are otherwise loved?

This is the only logical reason, as far as I can see. There's no other obvious explanation for it, and I won't question and risk destroying it, because he's very possibly bought me my ticket home. I do not doubt that Jack Shepherd will stand by me until he's drug away kicking and screaming, but yet, I can't help but wonder.

Has he ever put his trust in someone as manipulative as I?

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End file.
